You Taught My Feet to Dance Upon Disappointment

Suffice to say 2020 is not what anyone could have expected or hoped for. Dreams of a new decade beaming with hope have seemingly been thrust to a halt. More seems uncertain than certain. Fear seems more tangible than hope.

I don’t necessarily understand all that is going on in our world right now, and I certainly don’t understand why all of this is happening. No one could. 

I’m an optimist by nature, so I am always one to err on the side of positivity and hope. I won’t lie to you, there have been more days than not where hope has felt impossible to find. I’ve questioned just how trustworthy God is. I’ve clung on to fear more than faith, despite preaching otherwise. But in the depth of my soul and the deepest part of who I am, there’s a tiny flicker of light that calls me to believe that there is hope, still. 

I know I am not an expert, and maybe in the grand scheme of things, my words aren’t that important right now. I know I don’t know a lot. But here’s what I do know: God is not surprised, nor is He absent from the events that have transpired thus far in 2020. 

God is still sovereign over all. He is still on the throne. The mountains still tremble and bow at His name. The seas still part at the sound of His voice. God is still bigger than this.

What else would cause a nation so seemingly self sufficient to recognize it is not all powerful? To recognize its desperate need for saving, and a strength greater than its own? What else would cause a nation so focused on rushing to the next thing to be still? 

Let me be clear, I do not believe that God caused the coronavirus. It is evident that this is a manmade beast. But, with all of my heart, I do believe that good and glory can come from this- its a promise we’re made in Romans 8:28.

I have to believe that where fear and uncertainty run rampant a greater space for the miraculous is made. And from what I know of my God, this is the perfect space for God to do what only He can do. Be it the miracle of healing the sick, or the miracle of healing a broken family. 

God is not intimidated by the coronavirus, or any other event transpiring in our world today. When our hands tremble, His remain steady. 

His timing is perfect. And He is not late. He’s still not late, even now. When it hurts. When it doesn’t make sense. When it’s scary. He’s not late, and He certainly has not abandoned or forgotten His people. 

Theres no clear ending here, much like right now there’s no clear ending to any of this, but what room that gives the Father to move. I find no prayer more appropriate than that of King Jehoshaphat’s in 2 Chronicles 20:12, “for we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on You.”

God is here, even now. Especially now. Even in the disappointment. Especially in the disappointment. 

The darkness does not win. 

Father, be near. 

Heal our land. Heal our bodies. Heal our broken hearts.

Might we touch even just the hem of Your garment. 

Darkness has no place in You, nor does it win, so we ask that You hover over us. 

May this be wide open space for Your miracles to be on full display.

Touch this land.

We don’t know what to do, but our eyes are on You. 

And still You alone are worthy.

Still You alone are good.

Still You alone are our hope. 

Still You alone are our Great Rescuer.

Have Your way, for we trust in You.

Amen.